I have a confession. When I started Soul Sparks just over a year ago, it was a completely intuitive act. I didn’t have a business plan or even a real vision. I just knew the name was super meaningful to me, I had the accompanying domain which I had purchased over 15 years ago and I had some things I wanted to share.
As I’ve shared before, Soul Sparks started as a quote book that I created for friends and family back in 2000. There were 3 additional volumes from the original (2001, 2002, 2004). When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, my cousins all arranged to have weekly flowers delivered throughout my cancer treatment with an accompanying “soul spark”. To this day, the appreciation of that thoughtful and generous act is overwhelming to me. This, along with some other divine and perhaps woo woo (but relevant) signs further inspired the revised “sparks” for what Soul Sparks is today.
Sure enough, Soul Sparks has become a destination to share my own insights, musings, tips and tools particularly on all things meditation, mindfulness, wellness and personal transformation. But if I’m being honest, most of the things I share are because I need to hear them.
I’ve even managed to accumulated some amazing clients and friends along the way. I never anticipated the amount of fulfillment I would experience through witnessing others step onto their own paths of awareness and as a result feel more present, connected and productive in their own lives. And so I’ve recently found myself at a crossroads as I consider various directions to grow and expand the work I am doing with Soul Sparks and as a result have found myself reflecting on its origins.
What a lot of people don’t know is that the original quote book came to me at a time when I was heart and soul broken. I had lost myself through multiple family losses, a business fail, and a mass exodus of several of my closest friends who had moved away from San Francisco which was home to me at the time.
The family losses were tragic and overwhelming. I had lost people who I not just loved with my complete heart, but were the people who I most trusted to share early writings and explorations on all things related to spirituality and the mind-body connection. Up until that point I had never shared my writing. I had kept journals since I was 11 years old, but I found a different kind of voice when I wrote letters.
My grandfather especially was such an inspiration for me when it came to writing. We started our letters to one another when I went to college and continued even through start of the dotcom boom days when email was just becoming the norm of communication. It was when the boom started to bust and his illness started to get the best of him that his letters to me started to lessen, but I continued. I needed that outlet of writing to him. I needed to know I was being heard. That someone saw me. In hindsight I can now appreciate that those letters were the initial tools that connected me to my soul. So when he died, it felt like a part of my soul went with him.
The night he passed away I had a brought to your knees moment. The grief was guttural and had been building for some time as I never really processed the loss of my two Aunts in the months and years prior. Not necessarily a practicing Jew, I was desperate to connect with something, anything. I found myself driving through the streets of San Francisco and ended up at a Chabad. It was early in the morning. I knew nothing official of what Chabad was – but in this particular service, it was clear no women were taking part. Seeing my distress the attendant let me stand at the doorway. And in that awkward somewhat unwelcoming place of worship, I experienced a glimpse of a deeper connection, of something bigger, of an indescribable presence which I now know of grace. It didn’t lessen the grief, but it provided a spark within the deepest part of my soul. That place where unabiding love, faith, and the authentic essence of our truth converge.
I created the soul sparks quote book just a few months later. I think I unknowingly created it as a tribute to my Grandfather, my Aunt Tricia, and my Aunt Sandy who all passed in short duration to one another and who each in their own ways reminded me that I had a gift to share through my words. The compilation of gathering those quotes and the introductions I wrote became the outlet to connect with my family and friends in a place that was purely from my soul. It felt natural, joyful and relevant. To this day – I still go to people’s houses and see the soul sparks quote book. Granted it is usually in their bathrooms, but hey, I have no judgement when it comes to where people get their inspiration.
I share my memories of these origins primarily as a reminder to myself. As a reminder that life is full of endings and beginnings, losses and love, fear and faith. And through it all, it is often the times of darkness that teaches us about our own inner light. The more I embrace all spectrums of the experiences that life provides, I am always humbled by the Universe’s ability to take us back to our beginnings with the gentle reminder to love and be loved.
And so as I continue to explore how Soul Sparks will continue to manifest, I hold the appreciation of the deep roots that were planted so many years ago and the recognition that the fruits will continue to blossom in expected ways and in the many unforeseen and unexpected ways I could never even imagine.
So stay tuned for some upcoming shifts. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you and see what kind of information you would like to continue to receive. Check out this 5 question survey.
I’m so grateful for all of you joining me on this journey. May each of your inner lights shine brightly.
With gratitude and delight!